- Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street and one says to the
"Oh my God, I think I've just lost an electron!"
The second atoms says
"Are you sure?", to which the first replies "Yes, I'm positive".
- A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: " How much for a
The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".
- What happens when you get a polar bear wet?
- What do you pay a policeman working the nightshift?
- What do you pay a policeman who works on the vice squad?
- A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube fell in love with a
"Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the
The bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going
- Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.
says: " Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies: "No,
I know where I am".
- What do dipoles say in passing?
- Have you got a moment?
- Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
- Because it's in the ground state.
- What do you do with a dead chemist?
- What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?
- A KNiFe.
- Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
- They're cheaper than day rates.
- What happens when electrons lose their energy?
- They get Bohr'd.
- What did one titration tell the other?
- Let's meet at the endpoint.
- Why are chemists great for solving problems?
- They have all the solutions.
- Do you know what happened to the chemist who was reading a book about
- He just couldn't put it down.
- A florence flask was getting dressed for the opera.
All of a
screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!".
husband replied: "Take it easy honey, do not overreact. We'll find a
- Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
- Because it's basic stuff.
- What is a cation afraid of?
- A dogion.
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